Christmas in Korea

Hello and Merry Christmas to all! Thank you for your holiday wishes and love sent from afar. As you know, this was my first Christmas away from home, and on a whole, Koreans don’t really celebrate this holiday. I would compare experiencing Christmas in Korea to going to a Chinese Restaurant in the states, where the only patrons on Christmas day are Asians, Jews and Atheists, minus the Jews of course. Maybe there are Jews in Korea, I dunno, but that was the general atmosphere. Despite that though, I was able to get into the holiday spirit.

I made this card for you all, but unfortunately I have to take pictures with my computer and it reverses everything, so you can't read the message, which was so craftily created as an email. It says, 'dear friends and family, wishing you a merry christmas and a happy new year all the way from korea! i miss you all very much! lots of love, me' then i've put the mouse on the 'send' button. I thought it was clever.

My Aunt Joann sent me a wonderful care package full of her famous holiday Chex mix, and although I wasn’t eating it from the much loved green plastic container, it still had the same great taste. I had received her package a couple of days early, and although the wait nearly killed me, I decided to open it on Christmas day. Among the holiday snack that nearly put me into a diabetic coma (because I couldn’t stop eating it) were some cute stickers, a card of course, and pictures of the family; my nephew, little Bennett, isn’t so little anymore, nearing the towering age of 3 now! And I adapted a new loving title for the recent addition to our family: big fat baby Gabe. And I tell you, everything about that sentiment is correct. I don’t know how my cousins, Helina and Vaughn, still have a home, as it seems big fat baby Gabe would have eaten them out of it by now! The not so little guy is almost 3 months old and weighs over 20 pounds! To put this into perspective, Bennett is nearly 3 years old and weighs 30 pounds. It seems big fat baby Gabe’s hobbies include eating, sleeping, eating, pooping, eating, burping, eating and smiling. He and my cousin Jello would get along great!

I flicked through the tv some, and there were a variety of Christmas movies on, so a watched a bit of all of them, not having the ability to make decisions following my inhalation of the much loved holiday Chex mix. But I soon recovered my senses and remembered my intended outing to the movies, so away I went.

I ventured to the cinema by way of a taxi despite disastrous miscommunication efforts the last time I dared to do so. It was a new day and you gotta get back on that ol’ horse they call life. I’m not sure who ‘they’ are per say, but that’s beside the point.

I got to the theater around 5pm, but couldn’t get tickets for Avatar until 8:30, so I had some time to kill. It was at this time my body, more specifically my stomach, decided to remind me that although childlike tendencies are a healthy part of any well adapted adult, it was time to adequately feed this body of mine with sustenance and nutrients. So I walked about the main street looking for a ‘nicer’ restaurant that had tables and everything!

This street is like Times Square meets the Vegas Stripe meets what I would presume Tokyo would look like, having not been there I must rely on the accuracy of movies. The bright neon lights, speeding cars, and array of shops and boutiques ensnare the senses. I am convinced that Asia is just a mass collection of hair and nail saloons. Racists? Perhaps. But definitely true. Anyhoo, I walked from plaza to plaza with some holiday music to keep me company. Mind you, this wasn’t just any ol’ holiday music, these were the classics, ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,’ ‘Hark! The Harold Angels Sing’ and ‘Joy to the World’ to name a few. Wouldn’t it be so perfect if I had heard ‘We Three Kings of Orient Are?’ But what made these songs especially memorable was the fact that they were all blasting through the speakers in Korean. A nice little twist to make this an unforgettable Christmas.

I wanted to eat at a Korean BBQ, but having only eaten at a nice restaurant with Mr. Shin, I’ll admit, I was a bit intimidated. But adventure is my middle name, well, actually it’s Pamela, though I often tell people it’s Penelope, but I digress. I went into a restaurant because the people inside looked cheerful and happy to be there, and I was in a cheerful mood and was certainly happy to be there, so it seemed to reason I should join the party.

The only problem was the staff didn’t speak English and the menus didn’t have pictures for my to point to. I stood awkwardly in the foyer waiting to be seated, but then remembered this isn’t the ‘Asian’ way. With the hoards of people in this continent, if you want to be noticed, you must take an active role for others to notice you. It is a queer site to observe. On a whole, my experience has shown me that Koreans appreciate not standing out in crowd, yet if you want to be waited on, or served, you must assert your presence in a noticeable way. It is something to see people be politely intrusive, an art form really, and one I’ve not yet mastered. So I stepped into the middle of the walkway and stood there awkwardly. Nothing happened. The waiters and waitress just walked around me. After a few minutes I decided maybe I would try a restaurant that wasn’t quite so busy, so abashedly I headed back to where my shoes were by the front door.

There was a patron there who asked me if I was meeting someone, ‘Uh, no.’ And he took pity on this foreigner who was clearly far from home, and on Christmas of all days, and rendered his services as both an interpreter and my friend. He asked me what meat I liked, told me the menu options for dining as one, and said farethewell, though he didn’t actually use that colloquialism. I ended up getting a sort of soup, though it was thicker than a soup, but not thick enough to be a stew. It was like a kimchi soup, with bean sprouts and pork and various other ingredients I have no ability to decipher. Along with this main dish came 8 side dishes. That’s right, count ‘em, 8! A salad, made entirely of cabbage, with a sugary mayonnaise-type dressing, a seaweed soup, kimchi in the form of loose cabbage and also as a cubed, I dunno, rhubarb? Can you cube rhubarb? I’m rubbish at identifying these vegetables. Also, there were some strips of, pork? I’m not sure, though I liked the salty taste, some rice of course, and a fried fish of some sort. I ate a bit of everything, though I must admit, my chopstick abilities need some work. I’m okay with wooden chopsticks, but these nicer restaurants use metal chopsticks, and I’ve not gotten the hang of the extra weight. But I sat in my corner, bum on the pad that was on the ground, sitting over a table that was maybe 18 inches tall, and people watched as I stuffed my face.

I wish I had some pictures for you, but my camera batteries are dead and I still have to find a new power converter since my cheap Chinese one caught on fire. But that is now on the top of my list of things to do, so I will be able to post pictures once again.

After dinner I went to E-mart to buy something for myself this holiday season, I tend to be a cheapskate when it comes to things I could do without. But it was Christmas and I though maybe I’d buy a toy, like a yo-yo or something. I know, I know, I’m closer to the age of 30 than I’ve ever been, I have my own apartment, I make more than enough to warrant an elaborate purchase of, let’s say, a cd, but I just wanted something little and fun. Well, E-Mart was a mad house! I later learned that is somewhat of a tradition for parents to take their children there to pick out one gift. The kids only get one gift here, and after they are about 10 years old, they don’t get any presents. They get gypt! Gypt I say!

I looked for a power converter, couldn’t find one, so I enlisted the help of a pimply teenage boy, who had a hard time translating my odd hand expressions, so he recruited the help of another pimply sales assistant. How do you sign converter? Of course I said, ‘power converter,’ along with ‘electricity, watts, voltage’ but those are all obscure English words. So I reduced my need to a series of hand gestures.

First I pointed at a plug, then said clearly, and with pride, as I pointed to myself, ‘American.’ Then I pointed to the plug and said, ‘Korea.’ ‘American’ and ‘Korean’ and made a giant X with my forearms. I have observed that this gesture is common for Koreans, signifying a range of interpretations, like; we don’t carry that, or, we are closed, or no homework. Generally speaking, the giant forearm X means no, so I applied it to this situation, as in, my American appliances are not compatible with Korean wattage. A look of dawning came across one pimply boy’s face who took me to the plug adaptor section. ‘Okay, we’re making headway, but no, I need a power converter, not just a plug adaptor.’ Blank stares. So I reverted back to wild gesticulation. I like that word, gesticulate, though for some odd reason it makes me think of the word testicle, but anyhoo, FOCUS!

So I point at a plug, then say, ‘American’ and then pretend like I am plugging in an imaginary appliance, then I go on to pretend that it has caught on fire. How I do this is by wrinkling my nose to indicate a foul smell, and wave the imaginary smoke away. Then the fire got bigger, which I demonstrated by pretending to burn my hand, wave it frantically from side to side and say ‘ouch, ouch,’ and kiss my burnt fingers. The fire is now consuming the building and I scream RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Which is a phrase all kids say, but when you think about it, that is actually a dire thing to yell, run for your life. Certainly not something that should be yelled in the excitement and endless possibilities of childhood. FOCUS!

I didn’t create the mass hysteria that ensued in this demented yet wonderful head of mine, but I did manage to convey my point. The one pimply boy turns to face the other pimply boy, and what do you imagine he said? (If you thought, ‘she’s crazy’ you get a gold star, but alas, no credit because that’s not the correct answer.) He said as clear as day, which is also an odd idiom if you think about it. I mean, there are plenty of days where I fumble around in apparent fog, but anyhoo, FOCUS! He said, ‘oh, converter.’ CONVERTER! Yes, I need a converter, that was the first word I said. Then he looks at me and makes a giant forearm X and says converter. Case closed.

So I went to look for a yo-yo or a paddle-ball or a cup-in-a-ball quaint toy that reminds me of the 50’s I never experienced, but got distracted my something shiny. I made my way, all will removed and being beckoned by shear instinct, to the necktie section of men’s apparel. There, glistening in holiday splendour, was my Christmas present to myself. A striped pink necktie, and for the screaming deal of 5,900 ₩, which is only $5!

Necktie clutched in my prepubescent boy hand, I paid and left the madness known as E-Mart. I took a cab back to the theater and watched a thoroughly entertaining film that lived up to all the hype and wonder of the spectacular special effects. A side note, all English movies have Korean subtitles, naturally, and when the movie speaks in a different language, I’m just out of luck, since there are no English subtitles. I’ve gotten rather skilled at interpreting the meaning in the actors words, and feel fairly certain that on more than one occasion, Sigourny Weaver herself was attempting to seduce me, but alas, that is another blog altogether.

After the movie I returned to my abode, played on the Internet some, read some thoughtful holiday emails, and waited for the proper time to call friends and family who had not yet celebrated Christmas. I spoke with my parents of course, my papa said Christmas wasn’t the same without me, which was oddly reaffirming, and my mom told me she missed me. I spoke to my Yia-yia and Papou, the latter being so hard of hearing he had no idea who he was speaking to until he handed the phone back to my Yia-yia and asked who I was. I should say we had an entire conversation up to that point. I asked him how he was and what he was going to do this Christmas day. He asked me how I was, said he missed me, and asked me how my family was. Maybe this should have tipped me off, you honestly, if you know my Papou, this just seemed like is usual quirky self. Once he realized I was speaking to me, he got back on the phone and started off with the notorious line that makes every family member cringe, ‘You wanna listen to me for a minute?’ As if we have any other choice, followed by inevitable phrase, ‘I bet you didn’t know that did ya?’ As if on queue, I respond, ‘No Papou, I didn’t.’

Soon it was time to sleep, so I put on the Christmas music my dear friend Sheena gave me, you know Sheena, my Indian friend (dot not feather) and drifted off while listening to Charlie Brown’s Christmas music. Of course I missed all of you, the 12 family members and precious friends who read this little blog of mine who comprise of my address book on my disconnected phone, but despite feeling homesick and a bit lonesome, I must say, my first Christmas away from home was pretty good. I am sad I didn’t get to hear my cousin Adam’s voice, he’s currently serving an LDS mission in Greece and got to call home on Christmas, but I have some very handsome pictures of him that will have to get me by.

And man o man do I look good in that pink necktie!