Friday, November 26, 2010

My Itty-Bitties

As you may know, I teach a wide range of students and abilities, but by far, the most challenging class I have is my itty-bitties.

It’s a small class with only 3 students, but don’t let that fool ya, they’re a handful! The oldest student is my boss’s son, who I have christened Christopher.

Christopher enjoys the color grey, giving me hugs for no apparent reason and whispering secrets to me in Korean. He’s by far the best reader I have, which surprises Mr. Shin, who’s told me on more than one occasion that his son is not very smart. And I dunno, maybe he’s not the brightest kid in other subjects, but at 5 years old, his English skills are pretty impressive.

Jenny just turned 4 years old. She loves the color pink, ring-around-the-rosies and repeatedly cops a feel of my *whowho’s* which inevitably turns me a startling shade of pink.

Daniel. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. Don’t let this smile fool you, he’s definitely my naughty student. He likes to answer my requests with no, putting color pencils up his nose and drawing on the desk and wall. But he is a funny little guy, and when he’s not being naughty, he’s a lot of fun. And he LOVES ‘head-shoulders-knees-and-toes.’

So many of you may be wondering what do I know about teaching little kids? Absolutely nothing! When I found out I had a new class, and that they’re pres-school, well, I was about ready to hand in my resignation right then and there. But then I reasoned I’m up for a good challenge, and it’ll look great on a resume, so I gave it a shot.

Mainly, I just teach the book, Smart Phonics (why is phonics spelled with a ‘ph’ anyway? Someone was just having a good laugh at that one.) But occasionally I’ll throw in some of my own wisdom.

Because they’re so little, I have to prepare a lot of activities for our 55-minute class. I prepare more for this one class than all of my other classes combined! The first few minutes they have the wiggles, so I try to do something active or get them naming various objects around the classroom. Then when we start practice writing letters and they’re quietly concentrating, I slip in a reading lesson. By far everyone’s favorite time is reading. It’s funny, it doesn’t matter how old you are, or what language it’s in, all kids love reading!

They’ve had some exposure to English, but not much. I’d wager they had a 15-word vocabulary when we first started. Now it’s about 300 words! Little kids pick up language lightning fast, but sometimes it doesn’t seem fast enough! But oh my goodness, it’s oh-so cute when they tell me they have to go ‘beebee’ instead of ‘peepee.’ Makes since though, B and P sound similar and they’re both letters in the alphabet. It took some pantomiming on their part to tell me they had to go potty, but we got there in the end :)

As you can imagine, there have been a few notable experiences with this class, like, one day the boys were showing each other their belly buttons, one has an innie and the other an outtie. This totally fascinated them, and when I turned my back for a moment, I noticed (almost too late) that they were in the process of taking off their pants to show one another other body parts. I quickly replied, ‘oh, no, no, that’s for after class. Let’s play a game!’

Another day, out of nowhere, Jenny stood up and pulled down her pants and underwear in the middle of class. The boys just looked confused, and I asked her if she needed to go pee-pee. She told me no, and readjusted her underwear, apparently it was riding up.

Last week Daniel was being particularly naughty. I’ve had to send him out of class on one other occasion, and he had to sit with his mother in the lobby for 5 minutes. The receptionist translated for me that he wasn’t listening and had to wait outside until he was willing to behave. His mom, not speaking much English herself, put her fingers to her head and made little devil horns and said ‘teacher angry’ and had him apologize to me, after which he skipped down the hall merrily. But last week, he started coloring on the wall, and that’s not a ‘go outside for 5 minutes’ offence, that’s a time-out. Obviously these little kids don’t understand a lot of what I say, and for that reason I only hold them accountable for what is reasonable. Having explained to Daniel countless times that he isn’t to color on the desks, I felt it was reasonable to hold him accountable for intentionally drawing the wall.

At first I was just going to give him a firm reprimand, but that kid is seriously impervious to such things, and he just sat there laughing and smiling away. Now, I should say, when I don’t want the kids to open their books or play with a toy, I never just grab it, I always ask first. This is always a lot more tedious, but I figure if I don’t’ want them to grab things from each other, than I can’t do it to them. So there’s a lot of pleases and thank you’s in class, and they almost always comply on my first request. Anyway, I HATED the idea of picking him up, especially since he’s so little and the last thing I would ever want to do is physically dominate him, but it had to be done.

We got to the corner and I told him to stand there, and when he tried to move I told him no firmly, and waited. I should also mention, sometimes I’m surprised he hasn’t started crying when I’ve had to get firm with him, but like I said, he’s rather impervious. Until now. After he realized he couldn’t move from there, a temper tantrum soon ensued. And in came his mother.

She’s always been really great, and knows he can be a handful, so when the receptionist translated what I was saying, she took it well, and stepped outside with Daniel as he continued to have a complete melt down.

I resumed class and after about 4 minutes, I went out to the hall and told Daniel I really like him and he’s a smart boy, and I would love to have him back in class. Poor little guy, he was totally beside himself. But he was a sport and came back in class.

And as much as I hated having to be the disciplinarian, the next time we had class, and he was winding up an impressive punch, I told him no hitting or else you go to time-out and pointed at the corner. He stopped mid-punch, and I asked him if he wanted to go to the corner, and he shook his head and we resumed our lesson plan. Ah, thank heavens!

And the day I had to put Daniel in time-out, Christopher peed his pants and then pretended he didn’t. I’d venture that was probably the most productive lesson I’ve ever given.

This isn’t so much a story about my little kids as much as it’s a story about my neurotic co-worker who scares the children, Deborah. So I’m the only teacher who has this class. Incidentally, I’m the only teacher who doesn’t speak Korean, so on occasion, the kids will act up and be loud and I just have to make do. Well, one day, Deborah invited herself inside my class and was speaking Korean to the kids, which ticked me off because they were actually focused on me. And then I caught wind of what she was saying, and it included the word ‘ice cream,’ so I asked her to repeat to me what she had just said. Apparently she told them if they behave they get ice cream after class. Oh man, was I mad!

Okay, first of all, there is no refrigerator in the school, so there couldn’t possibly be any ice cream, so don’t make promises you have no intention on keeping. And secondly, if they behave in class they get praise and stars, NOT ice cream! I’m not about to bribe them with sweets! But seeing as I was in the middle of class and her intentions where good, I didn’t make a big deal out of it. Maybe I should have though...

On Pepero Day Deborah tried to give these little ins some Pepero right before class and I just about had a conniption fit. In my very stern teacher-voice I asked her what the sam hill she thought she was doing? She just looked at me like a deer caught in headlights, and tried to explain that the kids looked hungry. My response, ‘if they’re hungry, I have an apple they can share. They do not get sugar 2 minutes before class!’ Some people, sheesh! But that encounter made me wonder, when the hell did I become that person who offers fruit instead of sugar?

So yeah, my itty-bitties... they’re cute aren’t they?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

An Ingenious Marketing Strategy

It’s called Pepero Day and it could very well be the most effective marketing scheme I’ve ever encountered!

Pepero is a snack you can buy in every convenience store throughout Korea. It’s a cookie-like wafer that is in the shape of a stick, and on November 11 (11/11) you give everyone you’ve ever known a box of Pepero.

According to Wikipedia (seriously, what would we do without Wkipedia?) the Lotte Company denies ever marketing such a day, but rather ‘observed’ an increase of sales on November 11, which they attributed to the shape of the snack looking like the date. I think we can all agree that’s a bunch of hooey, but regardless, you must admit, the idea is rather inventive.

It’s so classic because on Pepero you never expect to get anything OTHER than Pepero. I mean, if we had a Snickers Day, you wouldn’t think you might receive a Hershey’s chocolate bar would you?

When I first heard of Pepero Day I was in awe of the cleverness and audacity of the marketing strategists. But what’s even more impressive than the idea? The fact that it is so successful! Lotte makes about 60% of it’s annual sales in Pepero during the month of November. I’m sure Hallmark is devising a way to incorporate such a scheme for the months that are lacking in holidays.

There are a few different variations of the snack, my favorite is the chocolate center with a chocolate outside and almonds. There’s also strawberry, nude (which is just chocolate in the center) cocoa and cheese.

Seriously, the more I get to know Koreans, the more impressed I am by them. For instance, it occurred to me that on a whole, Korea, the Korean peninsula, has few natural resources that are in high demand internationally, yet despite this slight oversight, Korea has managed to worm its way among the top international financial markets in just a few decades. That’s astounds me! Where would the U.S. be without agriculture, coal and oil?! We have natural resources other markets place in high demand, and other than amethyst, I can’t think of a single thing that sets Korea apart from the world-wide market. Other than ingenuity that is. The Korean civil war ended 60 years ago, and in that time period they have accumulated a staggering amount of personal wealth. And it’s all possible because of their commitment to science and invention. I mean, the Superconducting Super Collider was envisioned here, and for those readers who don’t know, that’s basically what makes the universe. It’s a recreation of the Big Bang, where matter and anti-matter made, well... everything.

So among the impressive array of products Korea has given us, Pepero in all it’s glory, remain the highest on my list.


Sunday, November 7, 2010

DMZ Tour

Earlier this month I went up to Seoul to take a tour of the DMZ, and boy was I excited!

The DMZ stands for demilitarized zone. It’s the span of land between North and South Korea that serves as a buffer zone, though I’m not entirely sure why it’s called the demilitarized zone since it has nothing but military, but maybe it’s like flammable and inflammable meaning the same thing. Anyway, the DMZ... it cuts the Korean Peninsula roughly in half, crossing at the 38th parallel. It’s a 160 miles long and about 2.5 miles wide. It’s the most heavily militarized boarder in the world.

The DMZ was created after a certain point in the Korean War, which divided Korea along ideological lines. The North wanted to spread Communism, with the help of Russia, and the South was determined to stay democratic. It was for this reason the U.S. had to intervene. In the ceasefire of July 1953, the DMZ was created as each side agreed in the armistice to move their troops away from the front line. An armistice is a situation in war where the warring parties agree to stop fighting. It doesn’t mean the war has ended, and indeed it hasn’t since both South Korea and the United States still have a declared war waged on the North, but it’s used while peace attempts are made. The word armistice derives from the Latin words, arma, meaning weapons, and statium, meaning a stopping.

Because of this stalemate, and genuine hostilities between the North and the South, large numbers of troops are still stationed along both sides of the line. The armistice agreement spells out exactly how many military personnel and what kinds of weapons are allowed in the DMZ. Soldiers from both sides patrol the inside of the DMZ, but they can not cross the Military Demarcation Line (MDL.) Sporadic outbreaks of violence due to North Korean aggression has killed over 500 South Korean soldiers and 50 U.S. soldiers along the DMZ since1953.

There are a few companies that offer tours here, which is also referred to as the JSA or Joint Security Area because it’s inhabited by North Korea, South Korea and the United Nations (represented by the U.S.) I went with my friend Todd, and if you remember, I did a blog on his cat Lucky (the insufferable) back in September.

The tour picked us up near Todd’s apartment at 7:10am, which was extraordinarily early considering we had just fallen asleep an hour before! Eventually we got the various members of our party and were on our way!

In order to go on this tour you must bring your passport. Check. I was also under the impression we had to ‘dress up’ for the tour, but it turned out we didn’t. Nuts.

The drive to the DMZ takes about an hour, and it was a relatively uneventful ride until we reached the ‘dynamite box.’ There is only one road leading from the North to the South, and in the event that North Korea attacks South Korea, this box, full of dynamite, will blow up the only connecting road. It was called a box, but really, it was more like a building, it was so big. It was a really good precursor in what we were about to embark on.

Along the road was a river that many a North Koreans have floated down in an effort to spark some kind of warfare with South Korea. After a failed assassination attempt on the South Korean President from such an insurgence, barbed wire fences were put in place to avoid any other attempts. As we progressed toward the DMZ, more and more precautionary signs were evident.

The first stop on the tour was at Imjingak Park. It was built to console those from both sides who are unable to return to their hometowns because of the division of Korea. This is where the ‘Bridge of Freedom’ is. It’s an old railroad bridge used to return repatriated POWs from the North.

This is the famous ‘Bridge of Freedom.’



Near the bridge was a cool rusty ol' train.


South Koreans leave notes to their loved-ones who can never leave the North. It’s assumed they will never receive these letters or ribbons, but it seems to give a bit of peace those separated family members, so why not?





You can see fall is here. I really love autumn.




I liked this pagoda because of the modernist approach to it.

There was an amusement park that wasn’t open yet, and I would have loved to get more shots of the abandoned theme park just on the outskirts of North Korea, but our deadline was fast approaching, and soon we were whisked away to our second stop, the DMZ Exhibit Hall and Theater.



About every 15 feet is a sign warning you of land-mines, land-mines and more land-mines. If you dared stepped off the path you risked emanate death, seriously. So contrary to my ordinarily combative nature, we walked along the preordained path and decided to risk death or loss of limb for another time.


While we travelled from one place to another, our tour guide would entertain us with random facts like, every man in South Korea must serve a minimum of 22 months in the armed forces, while every man in North Korea must serve 10 years. 10 YEARS! And my male students thought they had it bad! Even the women serve in the military in North Korea, though it’s not required. But maybe it is, who really knows? We do know that working for the military is one of the few sources of steady income those Koreans will likely ever have, which is why women serve about 7 years. Women are allowed to serve in the South Korean military too, but few do.

We also heard about the axe murder incident. Back in the 70’s there was a poplar tree blocking the line of sight into the North Korean side, along with the DML. The North had even made a number of attempts to drag United Nations personnel into North Korean territory. So for these reasons, 2 captains and 11 enlisted personnel from South Korea and the U.S. went into the JSA to trim the tree. The captains didn’t wear sidearms because only a certain number of armed soldiers can enter at a time, and the enlisted soldiers covered that.

After trimming began, 15 to 16 North Korean soldiers appeared, commanded by a guy who was nicknamed Lt. Bulldog because of his history of confrontations. They watched the soldiers trimming this tree for about 15 minutes without any sign of discord, until he ordered them to stop because ‘Kim Il Sung personally planted it and nourished and it’s growing under his supervision.’ Hogwash is right! The captains ordered the detail to continue trimming the tree.

Within seconds 20 more North Korean guards appeared, carrying crowbars and clubs. Lt. Bulldog demanded that the tree trimming stopped, and when Capt. Bonifas turned his pack on him, he ordered his soldieries to kill them. Using the axes dropped by the tree trimmers, the North Koreans killed Captain Bonifas and Lt. Barret, and wounded everyone else.

Shortly after the incident, North Korean media began airing reports of the fight. The North Korean version stated:

Around 10:45 a.m. today, the American imperialist aggressors sent in 14 hoodlums with axes into the Joint Security Area to cut the trees on their own accord, although such a work should be mutually consented beforehand. Four persons from our side went to the spot to warn them not to continue the work without our consent. Against our persuasion, they attacked our guards en masse and committed a serious provocative act of beating our men, wielding murderous weapons and depending on the fact that they outnumbered us. Our guards could not but resort to self-defence measures under the circumstances of this reckless provocation.

In response to the axe murder incident, the UN Command decided to cut down the tree with the aid of overwhelming force. The operation was named after the mythical lumberjack Paul Bunyan.

Operation Paul Bunyon commenced three days after the killing. A convoy of 23 American and South Korean vehicles drove into the JSA without warning. They came with chain-saws and were armed with pistols and axes, and there were 2 other platoons securing the perimeter.

The Exhibit Hall had diagrams and models of weaponry used by the North, along with an interesting movie the theater presented, riddled with propaganda. It was strange really, because, I mean, here I was, touring this place from South Korea, so you would think I’m on the South’s side, but this movie was full of indoctrinating words like ‘miraculous’ and ‘reunification.’ I didn’t understand who it was aimed at, but it was impossible to miss.


The movie also made a big deal of the animal sanctuary that has formed here, and all the exotic cranes that migrate to the DMZ. I asked Todd, ‘what kind of animal seeks sanctuary in a place riddled with land-mines?’ His answer, 3-legged beasts. Ah, touché, touché.


After the theater we went to the location of the Third Tunnel. This was really interesting.

So far there have been 4 tunnels discovered leading from the North to the South. This tunnel was rather unimaginatively named the Third Tunnel because it’s the 3rd one uncovered. It was discovered in 1978, but as recently as 1990, a fourth tunnel was unearthed. It’s believed that there are up to 10 more tunnels hidden.

Information about this tunnel was provided to the South by a North Korean defector. A defector is someone who seeks asylum from oppression. Many Northerns defect through China, but because of the strong alliance between China and North Korea, if they are discovered they are repatriated and face life imprisonment or death. On this tour I learned the president of Hyundai defected from the North, which I didn't know. We traveled along a road that was nicknamed 'Cattle Road' because when the president of Hyundai defected, he stole one of his fathers cattle to pay the smuggler. After he made his empire, North Korea allowed him re-entry back in 1998 (I think) and as repayment for his theft, he brought 1,001 cattle to North Korea, and they came on this road. Hence Cattle Road.

So the Third Tunnel...

It was designed for a surprise attack on Seoul and can accommodate 30,000 men per hour. Initially North Korea denied building the tunnel, but the direction of the dynamite explosions prove that was untrue. So the North being notorious for ‘saving face’ sent in soldiers to paint the tunnel with coal and declared it was part of a coal mining operation. Obviously geological surveys proved otherwise, but you have to admit, they’re tenacity is impressive.


You’re not allowed to take photos inside the tunnel, so I ripped some off the Internet.

I mentioned defectors, and I just found some interesting data relating to this topic. For a period of 30 years, South Korea had a law protecting defectors from the North where every defector was eligible for a generous aid package. After their arrival, defectors would receive an allowance, the amount depended on how useful they were to the South. Defectors who gave especially valuable intelligence were given additional rewards. Prior to 1997 the payments had been fixed in gold bullion, not South Korean won, because Northern’s have an ingrained distrust about the reliability of paper money.

The state provided some defectors with apartments, and all who wanted to study were granted the right to enter a university of his or her choice. Military officers were allowed to continue their service in the South Korean military at the same rank they held in the North. For a period of time after their arrival, defectors were also given personal bodyguards.

Recently, South Korea passed controversial new measure intended to slow the flow of asylum seekers. Officials say these new rules are intended to stop Koreans living in China from entering the South, as well as prevent North Koreans with criminal records from gaining entry.

When a defector arrives to South Korea they have to go through a 3-month resettlement program. The training curriculum is focused on three main goals: easing the socioeconomic and psychological anxiety, overcoming the barriers of cultural heterogeneity and offering practical training for earning a livelihood in the South. Upon completion of the integration program, defectors find a home with government subsidies and receive 20 million (about $17,000) to resettle and 320,000 ($280) a month.

The number of defectors has increased a staggering amount as you can see:

The United States also grants North Koreans refugee status after President George W. Bush signed the North Korean Human Rights Act in 2004. There are a reported 81 refugees living in the states as of 2009.

We also had a stop at the Dora Observatory, where you can look into a North Korean city, but it was way too foggy to see anything. If there wasn't so much fog, I would have been able to take a picture of the flags raised at either side of the DMZ. First South Korea raised their flag, and it was like 60 meters tall, so the North put up a flag pole 80 meters tall. So that prompted the South to install a taller flagpole at 100 meters. The North erected their flagpole at 160 meters and put an enormous flag on it too. Well, the South decided to stop participating in this silly demonstration, and just kept their flagpole at 100 meters. But what's funny is, the North Korean flag is so big that it weighs about a gizillion pounds, so it can never wave in the air, so the only flag you see is the South. Ah, sweet irony.

There was this stupid rule that you couldn't take a photo pass this line, and since there wasn't anything else I could take a picture of, I shot that instead.

Our last stop was to the train station that was built in an effort to create some commerce for North Korea. Again, the president of Hyundai was dedicated to improving the lives of his family members, and sunk billions of dollars into a number of business ventures that never got off the ground, including this one. At the last second, after the factory had been built and all the arrangements of transporting goods had been established, and a subway line built all the way out there, after all that was completed, North Korea squashed it even though it would have helped their economy immensely. So this is the deserted train station.




So yeah, it was a pretty great tour. It’s easy to overlook the raving lunacy of Kim Jong-il and his father Kim Il-sung when you’re not a high government official or serving in the military, so I’m glad this experience helped open my eyes some. I definitely would have been kicking myself if I hadn’t gone on this tour before I left, I mean it’s the DMZ we’re talking about! What else is more uniquely Korean than that?