This Displaced American

Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. Well of course I didn't, you're halfway around the world aren't you? Or is it me who's a world away? Regardless, you startled me sneaking up like that. Shame on you.

Bare with me, I'm having one of those 'introspective' days.

Since this blog is about my experiences while living here in Korea, it makes sense to write of the moments when I think, rather loudly too, 'what the hell have I done?' These moments don't last very long, but they do exist. Sometimes I think, 'what other people consider brave really is just insanity isn't it? They may as well be synonyms in this crazy language we call English.'

So maybe it's time to announce the novelty of living in Asia has started to wear off and now it's the actual 'living' part I have to do. It was bound to happen, my 'pink cloud' so to speak, isn't quite the same color of hot pink it once was, but that's life I suppose.

I'm not homesick. Not yet. Of course I miss you all, all 12 people who read this little blog of mine, who happen to be primarily made of family :) but what I miss is the convenience of doing things a certain way. The familiarity of my life in Salt Lake.

For instance, I know how to work my washer and dryer at home. I also know where to buy fabric softener and have the privilege of eating food lovingly prepared for me. For me. Not by me. I don't have to wear a specific outfit when I go to a local cyber cafe because if I have to wash the smell of cigerette smoke out of one more outfit some innocent bystander just may suffer the consequences, but then again, I wouldn't be at a cyber cafe because I wouldn't have had a wattage issue with my non-existent power converter and thus my computer would be working just fine.

This is where my head has been, and you know what they say about that neighborhood up there, so I decided today was going to be a self-indulgent, 'I-miss-the-simplicity-of-my-idealized-American-life' day. And so the adventure began.

I've been told there are 2 theaters in town, one over the river and one by E-Mart. 'HEY! I know where E-Mart is!' I thought, so after a leisurely afternoon and following a lengthy hot shower, I made my way the in the general direction of thataway. And would you believe it? I found that theater by sheer dumb luck, along with discovering the location of a nearby grocery store and the post office! How much more American can that be? Knowing where to get all my grocery needs met under a single roof and then mail a post card or two less than a block away? Already, my self-indulgence was turning out promising.

One minute I was deftly looking out the window of the honorable bus 0, and the next, I was climbing the stairs to the theater I'd never spotted prior to that exact moment. 5 stories later, I know, who's ever heard of a theater being on the 5th floor? I got in line to purchase my first movie theater ticket in Korea, followed by a nice recognizable VitaminWater. Ah, the comforts of home.

Standing in both lines taught me the dangers of having a larger bubble than Koreans. While I was in college, I remember discussing cultural differences, such as personal space. On a whole, Americans person bubble is 3 feet in circumference from our bodies, Germans have a 2 foot bubble, and Koreans, well, sometimes it feels like it doesn't even exist. I've noticed this with my students. Anytime we play a game I can guarantee that before too long all the students will be hovering less than 1 foot away from the white board, and myself, shouting as loudly as if they were in a high traffic area. It makes sense though, the shear number of people here make it necessary to quietly, yet politely, assert your presence while in public. Needless to say, I learned to close the gap between me and the those in front of me or else I'd be butted in line yet again.

I bought tickets for the 3pm showing of 2012. It was 2:45, great, plenty of time to look at the posters of other movies playing. 'Hmmm, there seems to be 5 movie advertisements here yet I only see 3 doors, well I'm sure that's just an over site on someone else's part,' I calmly think. So I wait. And wait. And now it's 3:05 and it's clear that I have misread or misunderstood something because the theater I enter has been playing the movie for the last hour. Well, what could I do? Nothing really, after all, I was out to enjoy my day, so I started watching the movie halfway through it. I figured it wasn't one of those kinds of movies that require extensive storyline/character development, which is precisely why I wanted to see it. Nothing screams 'American' like this blockbuster's wet dream. And being as clever as I am, in no time at all I was completely caught up the complex situation of the world coming to an end.

And then, uh oh, gotta pee. Here is a sample of the inner conundrum I was experiencing: 'Shoot. I'll just hold it.' 'No, go pee.' 'But I'm at the very end. The hero is about to make the ultimate sacrifice, his life. I can't leave now.' 'Well I already know he saves them, I mean, how else could this predictable script end? Just go pee.' 'NO! I got here late, I'm not leaving early too.' 'Fine, I'll just pee right here then.' 'I wouldn't!' 'Oh but I would.' 'Fine! I'll go pee.' And wouldn't you know it, the line in the girls bathroom was a kilometer long? 'I don't have time to waste!' 'So go pee in the boys bathroom.' 'Uh, well... okay.' It was tricky squatting over that urinal let me tell you, but I was on a mission... now back to the show!

By and by, not too bad. I wished I had seen the dynamic first half, but overall, it was an enjoyable experience. After the movie I decided to check out what video games they had downstairs, and lo'n'behold, theaters 4 and 5! 'Ahhhhh, okay, that makes sense now, I went into the wrong theater,' but even knowing my mistake, when I reread my movie ticket written entirely in Korean, I could not decipher that correction. 'Oh well, I guess I'll just see the first half of the film now.' And that's what I did. Who needs a conventional movie experience anyway? Not me that's for sure.

After the movie I made my way down 5 flight of stairs and thought, 'gee, I'm hungry, and for some reason it's changed my inner dialogue into this even cheesier version of an old Andy Griffith Show.' And what's more American than a cheeseburger I ask? 2 cheeseburger I dare say! But I only had one, which was one too many as it turned out, but who cares? I think, as I stumble to the bus stop. I've had a thoroughly enjoyable experience today, doing exactly what I wanted and now that I think on it, I realize I didn't mention the smell of the day. It smelled like fall. The fall we have at home. It smelled like home the entire time I outside, or at least the entire time I was aware of my senses. It was so bitter cold at night that if I kept my mouth open, the coldness of the night air made the nerves in my teeth hurt. Honest, that's how cold it was, it made my teeth hurt.

And even though I never spotted another foreigner, saw the movie in a rather ass-backwards way, and the hamburger joint was rubbish and served Pepsi instead of Coke, it was a great day to indulge in a truly American way of life.